2008-09-21

Nota para os empregados

Post conjunto disco-bar e blog dos #abandon@dos.

ENVIO NA INTEGRA CIRCULAR INTERNA (VERÍDICA) DE UMA
MULTINACIONAL AMERICANA EM PORTUGAL (NO PORTO).


VALE A PENA LER



It has been brought to our attention by several officials
visiting our corporate Headquarters that offensive
language is commonly used by our Portuguese-speaking
staff.

Such behaviour, in addition to violating our Policy, is
highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
colleagues.



In order to avoid such situations please note that all
Staff is kindly requested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the
following rules:

1. Words like merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta
que o pariu and other such expressions will not be used
for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion.
2. You will not say cagada when someone makes a
mistake, or ganda merda if you see somebody either being
reprimanded or making a mistake, or que grande cagada when
a major mistake has been made. All forms derivate from the
verb cagar are inappropriate in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head, or executive,
under no circumstances, will be referred to as filho da
puta, cabrão, ó grande come merda, or vaca gorda da puta
que a pariu.
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as
falta de colhões or coisa de maricas and neither will
persons who lack initiative as picha mole, corno, or
mariconso.
5. Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are
not to be referred to as punheta mental.
6. Do not say esse cabrão enche a porra do juízo if a
person is persistent. When a task is heavy to achieve
remember that you must not say é uma foda. In a similar
way, do not use esse gajo está fodido if colleague is
going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must
not say que putedo when matters become complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must
not say vai à merda. Do not ever substitute 'May help you'
with que porra é que tu queres?? When things get tough, an
acceptable statement such as 'we are going through a
difficult time' should be used, rather than isto está tudo
fodido.
8. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as
aumento dum cabrão.
9. Last but not least after reading this memo please
do not say mete-o no cu.
10. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly. We
hope you will keep these directions in mind.


Thank you.

7 comments:

Sintra said...

n1

ArabianShark said...

n2

Ai ai ai... o entendimento que esses estrangeiros têm da língua de Camões...

Telmo said...

n3

Sintra said...

Porra pá, n1 = nice one, K?

Sintra said...

Internet memes ftl.

ArabianShark said...

n1 (como em n+um, ou seja, "num") te enerves, homem! Tem lá paciência e desculpa a ignorância do macaco (e a minha também)

OK, agora parece que estou a chamar macaco ao Telmo. Não era essa a minha intenção. Desculpa lá a ignorância dele também.

Sintra said...

lolz